Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Girls should come with a carfax report
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
