my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
