guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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