Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
