I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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