Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
