I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
