Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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