I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
And then my night got REAL pukey
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
