"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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