why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
