I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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