I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
