I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
A bitchslap is in order.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
