ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
