suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
