I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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