he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
