at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
