The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
