Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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