He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
