dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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