I wish I could punch you in the face.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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