is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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