Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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