I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
