I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
