i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
