Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
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