Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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