i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
