seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
