dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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