butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
