Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
