White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
