Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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