You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
