So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i think i just lost a toe
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
