I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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