Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I CAN MOONWALK!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
