honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
