Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
