This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I wish I only lived at night.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
