well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
