My nipple is on Facebook.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
