We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
