nut hugger
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
of course. lets lasso hookers.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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