If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
This gyro tastes like lonliness
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
